The call that changed everything...Part 1

January 11, 2013

It was a normal, chilly Friday morning in Arizona. I woke up to my blaring alarm around 6am, wishing for just an extra hour of sleep. I got ready for work half asleep, absentmindedly thinking about what I would do this weekend. I drove to work, frustrated with the traffic, releasing my road rage on anyone that got in my way. It was a normal, ordinary weekday. 

I got to work at 8:30am. The office was unusually quiet because only my boss and I were working that day. I was glad to have a peaceful day to get a lot of work done. I went back to my office, secluded from the others, and got busy on getting things done. And that's exactly what I did...until around 10am...

My phone rang. It was my mom. This wasn't an unusual event. My mom called me at work frequently. With the time difference between AZ and IN, the best time to catch me was while I was working. I answered the phone, happy for a tiny break from number crunching. As soon as she spoke, "Molly..." I knew something was wrong. I can still hear the way my name came out of her mouth; the tone, the emotion. My mind instantly thought something had happened to my dad or maybe my little brother. But all I could say was, "What?!?". Never in a million years would I have guessed what she was about to tell me.

"Megan's dead" was all she could manage before she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "What?!?" I didn't think I heard her right. Maybe it was instant shock, but I felt myself leave my body. It was like I was watching this unfold from above. Mom had to repeat it a couple of times before my brain actually comprehended what she was telling me. Road. Murdered. Dead. Ditch. Ex-boyfriend. "No!" "Yes." "No!" "Yes." "No!" was how our conversation proceeded. 

Celebrating our 23rd birthdays

I was borderline hysterical. We were only 23. How in the world could this be happening?! How could my best friend be dead?! Tears poured from my eyes uncontrollably, right there all over my desk. This can't be right. They've got to have their facts messed up. How can this be real?? I was numb. Mom said she'd call if she heard anything else; she just wanted to be the one to tell me. I hung up the phone. I was a mess...

My boss had been on the phone while this was taking place. I knew he had probably heard me, so I had to find the strength to go into his office and tell him exactly what was going on. I pulled it together, or so I thought, and walked to my boss's office. *side note* I'm not the crying type. I just don't cry; especially not in public. I take hurts and pain and bury them. That's just how I've always been. So, when I was standing there in my boss's doorway, crying as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, my boss didn't know what to think. To be honest, he looked a little scared, like he wasn't sure what to do; I don't blame him, there's not much anyone can do in a situation like this. After I finally got out all the details I knew, I was a blubbering mess. My boss told me to take the rest of the day off and go home. God bless him.

Indiana State Fair

The drive home was rough. My commute was pretty long, so I had a ton of time to think about what exactly was happening and my brain was running a hundred miles an hour. I tried calling a friend, but I got her voicemail. I tried calling KC, but his cell was out of the service area. I felt completely alone and that only made it worse. I couldn't help thinking about the last conversation I had with Megan. The thoughts and memories just flooded me. 

It was 3 days prior, on my way home from work (my long commute was the most common time for us to talk on the phone).  We had talked about her future plans to become a CNA, we made plans for my trip to Indiana in May, we talked about her next trip to AZ to visit (she'd already been 3 times in 2 years; she truly was the best). I thought about the texts we sent just the night before. And then I started thinking about how we'll never be able to do any of that again. We'd never get to take our trip to Europe, we'd never get to be each other's bridesmaids, we'd never get to take that cruise we talked about for over a year. I couldn't stop the tears, or the thoughts. 

Grand Canyon

When I got home, I sat in the car for awhile. Partly because I couldn't move and partly because I knew when I went inside, I'd have to tell my roommate everything. I'd have to relive my phone call with my mom again. I took my time going inside.

To be continued...

Part 2